Present day

So, I’m fat. Morbidly obese. I totally just gave up and ended up gaining 25 more lbs.

I could spend time being angry with myself about it, but what good would that do? Self pity is what got me here. I’m to the point that I’m really uncomfortable and having a hard time doing normal things. How sad.

I’ve decided on a few things. My house is in disarray. So, this week, room by room, it’s getting decluttered and deep cleaned, right down to shampooing the carpets. I’m purging SO MUCH. Then, I’m going to spend a day or two on Ancestry crossing some T’s and dotting some I’s, then I’m cancelling my subscription for awhile. I need a break..

I’m taking the money from Ancestry, and signing up at the gym. I’m even toying with the idea of getting a trainer. I’ve got to do something. I don’t do it here, even though I have all that I need. If I’m paying for it, you can bet your ass I’m going to GO.

Tomorrow I go for X-rays on my knees. Doc isn’t sure what’s going on. I’ve either got a misaligned kneecap, bursitis, or a ligament issue. If X-rays don’t show anything conclusive, then I’ll need an MRI. All I know is I can’t walk to the bathroom without limping. The pain has steadily gotten worse over the years. I had X-rays two years ago that showed arthritic changes in both knees, my right worse than my left. 

I also start physical therapy this week. Three times a week for four weeks. I’m actually looking forward to it. I miss being mobile.

We have an exercise bike, I hope to be able to use it soon.

I’ve also decided to just put my foot down with the family on what we eat. No more garbage.

If it isn’t fruit, veggies, lean meats and MAYBE a bit of grains, it’s not coming in this house…  no more. I’m done. My kid is chronically constipated. Hubby is on so many meds I’ve lost count. He lives on ice cream and shitty cereal and wonders why he feels like crap. I buy all kinds of fresh, organic stuff and it goes bad because no one eats it but me! 

Shits gonna get real when I go grocery shopping this week. They aren’t gonna be happy with me. 

I’m going to weigh and measure tomorrow, as much as I don’t wanna, and I’m gonna get back to it. I can’t shop til Wednesday/Thursday, and have to make do with what we’ve got here.

I’m so sad. I’ve become the fat woman I’d see and feel bad for..  

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Day 30

My days have been better, because I wanted them to be. Working through the turmoil. Can’t sleep tonight. REALLY NEED sleep..  but here I am awake. 

Hoping to nap early, then own the day. Have a workout to do, dinner to prepare, and with all this snow, I need to get out with my camera, even if only for a little while! 

Be well. And have a day that makes your heart happy!

Day 12

We spent the day at a fabulous little park in the campground that we recently camped at. We went with my bff, so that our kidlet could hang with her bff, and the bff’s siblings. We had a really great time. I ate well. The only thing I had that I shouldn’t have had was a Gatorade. 


Here is M (in red) and bff, collecting salamanders.

We were there all day and I got a wee sunburn. Upon arriving home, I crashed and took a 2 hour nap. Ugh. And then an hour later, I went to bed.

No exercise.  😦

Day 2

What a day. I ate a healthy delicious breakfast of scrambled eggs, spinach and salsa, a piece of toast, and a mandarin orange. 

Then I ended up at urgent care/hospital with my kid. Three hours later, McDonalds happened. Ugh. I’m not going to beat myself up over it. 

I just did my ride. Three and a half miles in 14 minutes. I’m a little pokey, as my knee really hurts tonight. 

Tomorrow, I aim for a morning ride, a repeat of this mornings breakfast, and then since I have to take hubby to have a tooth extracted, I’ll be packing my lunch to eat while he’s in the chair. After we get home, I e got a core workout to do. 

I’m determined. I ate crap this afternoon because I was in a pinch. When I shop this week, I’ll get some things I can toss in my bag when I leave so I’m not ever in a pinch like that again. 

Tomorrow starts the 21 Day Fix, officially. Wish me luck!