Eh.

I woke up with so much running through my head.. too much. I never seem to finish a thought.. I hate feeling so unsettled. I’m also feeling under the weather physically. I’d wanted to go to the river, which would’ve been an instant mood lifter, but it’s not happening today. So, I’m not sure how to clear it all out. I’m just trying to maintain an attitude of gratitude! I have much to be thankful for. I don’t want to lose sight of what is really important.I’m going to have a late breakfast, enjoy my coffee with my loves, and get to cleaning up my office a bit.

Advertisements

Time.

Oh, I have so much on my mind. Mainly? Time…

Time is wonderful, and yet the lack of it sucks. Example: My kid is some how almost 12.

Twelve. So, I sit here and think of how little time we have left with her under our wings. And I CANNOT. Ugh.

But, that is our job as parents. We cannot keep them. We have to prepare them to soar. Β She is SO amazing. I cannot even begin to explain the ways. She is at West Virginia University this week for an art camp. She loves all things art and has a talent for drawing, and sculpting. She likes to paint, too. And now, as a result of this camp, she has been exposed to more mediums that have interested her. I am SO glad that we were able to do this for her. We may not have been, originally. Her grandmother recently passed away, and she had a life insurance policy that she left to M’s dad. And so the money came from that.

So, as much as we are saddened by the loss, we are grateful for her gift, and made sure that it benefited her granddaughter in some way. We will make sure to have the money so that she can go again next year, and so on. I am hoping they have similar science camps, but have to research that. She wants to go, if they have them!

Time. I look back on parts of my life and think, “How in the HELL was that 30 years ago?” Β It blows my mind. It hit me recently when I was thinking about my first real job at a local coffee shop. I loved my customers so much! And? I am betting that they are all gone now. Thirty years and most of them were elderly, or close to it, back then. It was such a depressing thought.

Music is both uplifting, and depressing at the same time. I will listen to songs that remind me of my childhood, of good times… and then it hits me that all the people I was surrounded with back then? A lot of them are gone. And so then I get sad….

It is a total love/hate relationship that time and I have..

One thing I DO know, is that I have to utilize it better. I have to make it work for me. And I am taking baby steps to make that happen.

Because…. we are all on borrowed time, and none of us know just how much of it we have.

Peace. And make the most of your time!

A good day

I spent the afternoon out and about with my mom. It was nice. We hit up a local farm for some fresh steaks/burgers/sausage. I’m so thankful to have places around here to get farm-to-table goods. I’d much rather we support our locals than Walmart. We had sandwiches from there for lunch, too. They were delish. The people are super nice. The man seems REALLY familiar to me, but I can’t place him..

Nova kept an eye on things til I put them in the fridge.

We bought some Amish cheese they get from nearby PA. Omg. Cheddar Mango Pepper. She said it wasn’t hot. She lied! Lol. But it’s amazing! I can’t wait to have some of it with a cold, fresh sliced apple! Mmmmm. We also bought some smoked Gouda, which I could eat all day long and then some. I completely understand why my dad always called good cheese ‘poor man’s steak’ !!! Speaking of good cheese, I need to get my hands on Tillamook Cheddar. That stuff is amazing.

Speaking of my dad, tomorrow marks the 13th year since he left us. I was walking around Walmart fighting back tears as I wandered around the tool section looking for something. I used to love shopping for my dad for Christmas and his birthday. I always made mental notes of things he needed or wanted. He was always so happy to get stuff he needed for his work shop. But most of all, I loved the surprise gifts; the ones he never expected! Those are the ones I’d wrap in an entire Sunday newspaper, inserts and all! Made him work for it hahaha. He was good at getting me back.. like the time he put a bowling ball in a dishwasher box packed full of balled up newspaper, popcorn styrofoam and bubble wrap. 😬 Good memories. I hope they will get me through… πŸ’•

Well, I’m off to go vacuum my office and neaten up my desk a bit. Dinner tonight is sirloin steaks on the grill with steak fries and a big salad. Yummers.

The Longest Day

The Summer Solstice! I wait all year for this day! I had hoped today would be sunny and hot. Like summer should be. But, nope. πŸ˜”

I’m sitting here listening to the birds. They sure have a lot to say. When a car comes by, they hush for a second or two, and then resume. I’m thankful for them and their chirpiness. 😌 There is a slight breeze right now that is all kinds of wonderful.

I’m really trying to focus on having a few moments to practice gratitude. This is an awfully depressing week for me, and I’m struggling..

However, I have much to be thankful for! Some times, I let the crap of life sink in too deep.

I really just want to be at/in the river. It’s my happy place. I would really like to just mosey on down whether the sun comes out or not. Although, I do have a mountain of laundry I should get moving on, in case my people should want to be clothed… πŸ€—

So, I guess that’ll be my focus today. Clean clothes for all! I can sneak in some hammock time in between loads!

I am also planning a very healthy dinner of zucchini noodles with basil pesto, and a big salad, with some freshly made iced tea, and a home made, not-so-healthy yellow cake with the most amazing home made chocolate frosting!

It’s amazing how my attitude has turned around just since the start of this post.

A grateful heart is a wonderful thing.

May you have a grateful heart πŸ’œ and a wonderful day!

Day 59

While I have largely pissed away the last 58 days, I’m still trying.

I ate well today. I started my day with a Shakeology with spinach and almond milk. I had a late breakfast/early lunch of an omelet with peppers and onions, and ham and rye. I should have foregone the rye. Dammit, I love bread. :/

I got in 8 oz of a kombucha drink I bought to try. I’ve had a swimming pool’s worth of water lol. I really needed to get in some fruit, but after a dinner of a large salad with hard boiled eggs and a cup of beef bone broth, I’m stuffed!

I’m happy with my choices today. 😁

Day 58

I rocked today. Just sayin’…  😬

Hoping I can do the same tomorrow. πŸ‘πŸ»

I’m TRYING to go gluten free. I found gluten free croutons. Yay!

My salad for lunch was delish.

My dinner was even better!


It’s chicken, bacon, sweet potatoes, apples, onion, and Brussels all cooked in a skillet, seasoned with garlic, thyme, salt, pepper, and cinnamon. Amazing!!

I also got in 96 oz water. 😳

πŸ‘πŸ»

Day 30

My days have been better, because I wanted them to be. Working through the turmoil. Can’t sleep tonight. REALLY NEED sleep..  but here I am awake. 

Hoping to nap early, then own the day. Have a workout to do, dinner to prepare, and with all this snow, I need to get out with my camera, even if only for a little while! 

Be well. And have a day that makes your heart happy!