Happy New Year!

New domain name and hosting has been purchased. I am excited to get the new space up and running.

I will be doing what I am calling ‘The 365’ … it is a series of 365 prompts, broken down by month/day.

The one for today is “Your Biggest Dream”

My biggest dream, if money were no object? I would buy a small tropical island. I would build an amazing and functional (for me and the fam) home. I would become the fully fledged crazy cat lady I always said I would become. I would rescue cats. And maybe a few dogs too. 😉

Our days would consist of caring for, and loving on said animals, lounging in hammocks amongst the palm trees and sun, eating fresh caught seafood, having epic BBQs, drinking rum-infused drinks with those cute little umbrellas in them, reading good books, and listening to music a LOT. I would have the most amazing garden you have ever seen. I would love to grow what we eat. However, I have black thumbs. Both of them. So I would have to employ someone who has very green ones….

So yeah, that is the dream. To be a tropical crazy cat lady… to be surrounded by my family and friends and a million cats.

On a more realistic and practical level? I would love to buy some land, build a roomy, functional, and cozy home, and create a small homestead situation. Again, the black thumbs throw a wrench into that idea. I can kill plants like nobody’s business. It is awful. I have been trying to get it right for YEARS. I just don’t understand. ugh.

Said land would have a spring, and a creek that poses no threat to us when it floods. It would have heavenly views, lots of visiting wildlife, tons of fruit trees/bushes.. I would have an amazing grape arbor, and lots of flowers everywhere to attract bees and flutterbyes.. it would be a wee slice of heaven for sure. My garden would be huge. I would can what we do not eat, so I could be all stocked up for the cooler months, and whatever was left over would be given to someone who needs it. I would love to have an abundance of foodstuffs so I could bake bread and make soups or casseroles that I could deliver to someone in need.

Hubby and I are currently paying off some debt. The goal is to be debt free (minus our truck payment) in two years. Then for the next two years, all the money we spent paying those bills, will go into a savings account. When our kiddo heads off to college, that is when we will decide on where we are going. We love it here, but want to be somewhere warmer.

Mom put the idea of Panama into my head and now I cannot stop thinking about that LOL. I am not sure that we will go to that extreme. Time will tell…

Anyway… my wish for you is that you have a healthy year ahead. This COVID thing is frightening. I know several folks who have died from it, I know several folks currently fighting it, and I know several who have overcome it, but not without some gnarly residual complications. It scares me silly… It really does. This is like my worst childhood fear and it has come to be. Ugh.

Be smart. Be safe. BE GOOD to each other. Stay strong in your faith. The one thing I have seen this year that unsettles me more than anything, is the ugliness I see from some people. If what you are about to type is not something you would say in a face-to-face situation? Then DON’T say it. Quit being a keyboard warrior, find your inner peace, and be a good person. BE KIND. It will cost you nothing. And if being mean and tearing down another human makes you feel ANYTHING but horrible? Please try to figure out WHY …

Until next time…
xoxo

Bringing Blogging back

Ha. Hardly anyone ever read my blog back in the day, so it isn’t likely to change this time around. But..I like to write. And I have missed it. I miss creating blog designs. It has gotten a bit more complicated in the last 15 (ugh) years. I know what I want to do and how I want it to look. I just do not know how to make it so any more.

I have found a template that I think I like. And once I pay for my domain and hosting, and install the theme, I can tweak it and hopefully make it mine. I need to pay off my credit card first though. That will happen within the next week, so then I can get moving.

I have a set of 365 ‘suggestions’ to blog about each day. I thought it was a nifty idea and then when I started reading through them, I knew that it was DEFINITELY something that I wanted to do. I am also going to do what I call ‘the Weekly’, which will center around the guys of Queen.. because yes, I am obsessed. This will include my Mercury Monday and Freddie Friday posts that I do on Facebook. I am also going to have a section for accountability, again, for my healthy eating and exercising. Hubby took pics of all of us at Christmas and HOLY HELL. I just do not feel as fat as I am. I was really shocked. What I saw in those photos is NOT what I see when I look in the mirror. It is so weird. All I know is that I am off my meds and have been for over a year. My hormones are completely crazy, and I need to take better care of myself. So, as much as I hate the whole ‘New Year, NEW Me!’ bullshit.. I shall partake of it all, because I NEED to.

I may share recipes and pics of food, all the stuff people claim to hate to see on FB and blogs, in that section as well. I will also share a photo every now and then. 😉

I guess I should wrap it up. I have things to do.

Until next time… xoxo

Merry Christmas

I do hope you had a great Christmas. We had a wonderful couple of days. It was very low key. We did have our neighbor over. He’s retired and alone and really doesn’t go anywhere. He’s been spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with us for the last few years now.

Last night we watched A Christmas Story, and munched on some goodies, had a drink or two, and just generally enjoyed the evening together.

This morning, we opened gifts. My family spoiled me. I was gifted some wonderful things! After the post-gift clean up, my mom and I cooked dinner. We had ham, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and gravy, warm bread with butter AND corn bread. It was delish!

I was really missing my dad. I had to work at not being sad. I know he wouldn’t want that for me. So instead, I remembered all the joy he brought us during the holidays, and I tried to give that joy to my family.

I am hoping for a very lazy day tomorrow. I just kind of want to sit around and do nothing but maybe read, and listen to a couple albums I got for gifts (Queen, of course) …

The bonus this Christmas? We had a white Christmas. It snowed all day today. It was, well, kind of magical.

Until next time…. xoxo

Down the Rabbit Hole

Ugh.
I was looking through photos just a bit ago. I came across the pics from when we moved from Florida to Rowlesburg. We moved into my Nanny and Pops old house. Oh, I was so elated to be back. I LOVED Rowlesburg SO MUCH. We settled into a routine rather easily. I am SO grateful we had that time there. I loved getting my kidlet on the bus each morning. I would then take a nice long walk down across the white bridge.. I would follow the old tracks to the trestle.. I would sit and watch the creek flow for awhile.. and then continue on around to the mainline and follow the tracks across the black bridge, stopping to take in the mighty Cheat River. I would then walk on home. I was so so grateful to be back in this place, even though almost every one that made it so special to me was now gone. I miss those walks. I miss them SO MUCH.
I can never thank my family enough for that opportunity. I do not speak to any of them these days, which is really sad.

Anyway. I had a dream the other night that we moved back there and into the old house. However, my Nanny’s kitchen has been removed. All of the cabinets, counter tops, and such now reside in another house in town. That makes me happy.. however, in regard to the dream… we move back in and I simply cannot deal as my Nanny’s kitchen was the heart of that house. So, we had to rebuild the kitchen. It was nice. But it was not Nanny’s kitchen.

I know it is just a house. For me though, being as sentimental as I am, it is SO MUCH more than that. As much as I do not want to see that home be torn down, I just wish it would happen already. The current owner has stated that that is what he intends to do.. yet it has been years. The house just sits there in a state of decay that eats me up every single time I see it. Just take it down already. As hard as that will be for me… I just kinda want it done.

This is why I should not look through photos when I am bored and cannot sleep. Oy. I am now a sobbing, ridiculous mess. I miss the old days. I miss that house, filled with people that I love…

I miss them all so very very much….

Happy Wednesday!

Yesterday was a full on bucket of suck. I won’t bore you with details. However, something happened last night to turn it all around. I was not feeling good. I was in my recliner, and T came out of the bedroom (he was going to go to bed). He decided that he just wanted to sit out here with me, knowing how awful I was feeling. He didn’t want me to be alone.

We sat in the dark, in silence. Once in awhile, one of us would say something. It was lighthearted conversation, nothing too heavy. For 3 hours, he just sat here with me. When I mentioned that I was sleepy, we went to bed. I thanked him for just…. being. He hugged me and said, “Just being by you is so much better than being by myself. I’m sorry you’re not feeling well. I hope you can get some good sleep.” He kissed my forehead, and off to sleep I went. Content. Happy. Full heart and soul.

Today, I am in a much better mood. I got some sleep. I’m going to pack lunches for M and I, and make some chicken salad for T to have for lunch. I’m also going to throw something in the crockpot for dinner tonight.

I am a fortunate woman. My life with T has not been easy. But the love we share is strong. It’s amazing, really. And I was reminded of that last night. I am grateful.

I hope your day is filled with love, and goodness.

Until next time.. xo

Eh.

I woke up with so much running through my head.. too much. I never seem to finish a thought.. I hate feeling so unsettled. I’m also feeling under the weather physically. I’d wanted to go to the river, which would’ve been an instant mood lifter, but it’s not happening today. So, I’m not sure how to clear it all out. I’m just trying to maintain an attitude of gratitude! I have much to be thankful for. I don’t want to lose sight of what is really important.I’m going to have a late breakfast, enjoy my coffee with my loves, and get to cleaning up my office a bit.

Time.

Oh, I have so much on my mind. Mainly? Time…

Time is wonderful, and yet the lack of it sucks. Example: My kid is some how almost 12.

Twelve. So, I sit here and think of how little time we have left with her under our wings. And I CANNOT. Ugh.

But, that is our job as parents. We cannot keep them. We have to prepare them to soar.  She is SO amazing. I cannot even begin to explain the ways. She is at West Virginia University this week for an art camp. She loves all things art and has a talent for drawing, and sculpting. She likes to paint, too. And now, as a result of this camp, she has been exposed to more mediums that have interested her. I am SO glad that we were able to do this for her. We may not have been, originally. Her grandmother recently passed away, and she had a life insurance policy that she left to M’s dad. And so the money came from that.

So, as much as we are saddened by the loss, we are grateful for her gift, and made sure that it benefited her granddaughter in some way. We will make sure to have the money so that she can go again next year, and so on. I am hoping they have similar science camps, but have to research that. She wants to go, if they have them!

Time. I look back on parts of my life and think, “How in the HELL was that 30 years ago?”  It blows my mind. It hit me recently when I was thinking about my first real job at a local coffee shop. I loved my customers so much! And? I am betting that they are all gone now. Thirty years and most of them were elderly, or close to it, back then. It was such a depressing thought.

Music is both uplifting, and depressing at the same time. I will listen to songs that remind me of my childhood, of good times… and then it hits me that all the people I was surrounded with back then? A lot of them are gone. And so then I get sad….

It is a total love/hate relationship that time and I have..

One thing I DO know, is that I have to utilize it better. I have to make it work for me. And I am taking baby steps to make that happen.

Because…. we are all on borrowed time, and none of us know just how much of it we have.

Peace. And make the most of your time!

A good day

I spent the afternoon out and about with my mom. It was nice. We hit up a local farm for some fresh steaks/burgers/sausage. I’m so thankful to have places around here to get farm-to-table goods. I’d much rather we support our locals than Walmart. We had sandwiches from there for lunch, too. They were delish. The people are super nice. The man seems REALLY familiar to me, but I can’t place him..

Nova kept an eye on things til I put them in the fridge.

We bought some Amish cheese they get from nearby PA. Omg. Cheddar Mango Pepper. She said it wasn’t hot. She lied! Lol. But it’s amazing! I can’t wait to have some of it with a cold, fresh sliced apple! Mmmmm. We also bought some smoked Gouda, which I could eat all day long and then some. I completely understand why my dad always called good cheese ‘poor man’s steak’ !!! Speaking of good cheese, I need to get my hands on Tillamook Cheddar. That stuff is amazing.

Speaking of my dad, tomorrow marks the 13th year since he left us. I was walking around Walmart fighting back tears as I wandered around the tool section looking for something. I used to love shopping for my dad for Christmas and his birthday. I always made mental notes of things he needed or wanted. He was always so happy to get stuff he needed for his work shop. But most of all, I loved the surprise gifts; the ones he never expected! Those are the ones I’d wrap in an entire Sunday newspaper, inserts and all! Made him work for it hahaha. He was good at getting me back.. like the time he put a bowling ball in a dishwasher box packed full of balled up newspaper, popcorn styrofoam and bubble wrap. 😬 Good memories. I hope they will get me through… 💕

Well, I’m off to go vacuum my office and neaten up my desk a bit. Dinner tonight is sirloin steaks on the grill with steak fries and a big salad. Yummers.

The Longest Day

The Summer Solstice! I wait all year for this day! I had hoped today would be sunny and hot. Like summer should be. But, nope. 😔

I’m sitting here listening to the birds. They sure have a lot to say. When a car comes by, they hush for a second or two, and then resume. I’m thankful for them and their chirpiness. 😌 There is a slight breeze right now that is all kinds of wonderful.

I’m really trying to focus on having a few moments to practice gratitude. This is an awfully depressing week for me, and I’m struggling..

However, I have much to be thankful for! Some times, I let the crap of life sink in too deep.

I really just want to be at/in the river. It’s my happy place. I would really like to just mosey on down whether the sun comes out or not. Although, I do have a mountain of laundry I should get moving on, in case my people should want to be clothed… 🤗

So, I guess that’ll be my focus today. Clean clothes for all! I can sneak in some hammock time in between loads!

I am also planning a very healthy dinner of zucchini noodles with basil pesto, and a big salad, with some freshly made iced tea, and a home made, not-so-healthy yellow cake with the most amazing home made chocolate frosting!

It’s amazing how my attitude has turned around just since the start of this post.

A grateful heart is a wonderful thing.

May you have a grateful heart 💜 and a wonderful day!

Day 59

While I have largely pissed away the last 58 days, I’m still trying.

I ate well today. I started my day with a Shakeology with spinach and almond milk. I had a late breakfast/early lunch of an omelet with peppers and onions, and ham and rye. I should have foregone the rye. Dammit, I love bread.

I got in 8 oz of a kombucha drink I bought to try. I’ve had a swimming pool’s worth of water lol. I really needed to get in some fruit, but after a dinner of a large salad with hard boiled eggs and a cup of beef bone broth, I’m stuffed!

I’m happy with my choices today. 😁